Knapsack of Grief

I vaguely remember being at the hospice, it was a warm May evening, and I was visiting after school. I had just completed my AS level art exam and I clutched a picture of my art in the sweaty palm of my hand with the hope that I would show it to my mum.. I never…

I remember like it was yesterday, you came into my bedroom, I was lying in bed half asleep, you sat quietly on my bed and turned the lamp on. I sat up, slightly annoyed that you had disturbed me from my slumber but happy to see you. To this day I can remember the pain…

That’s right, by the end of it all I did just want to you to die. I couldn’t bear to witness your suffering. I became a silent observer as the nurses administered you drugs, took you the toilet and fed you through a tube. You had lost yourself and your dignity. You were barely conscious,…

Maybe it does maybe it doesn’t… but this statement has been thrown upon me from various well-meaning sources for a good number of years. It was particularly present over the year that both my parents passed. It was a statement that I feel now comforted the other rather than me, as if to say… things will…

    The moment you were told you had cancer you withdrew yourself, I saw the fear in your eyes. You had just witnessed my mum, your wife, battle with the disease and die. It was your turn now. The flurry of doctors’ appointments, hospital visits began to stack up, I would drive you to…